She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
