Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
