i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
false alarm, still single
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
