His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
