You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
