So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
