i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
