I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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