Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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