Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
