dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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