I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize