the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
