We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
