U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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