So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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