You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
