her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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