wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
