Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The beer is more important than you right now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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