I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
