somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
