ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
