oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
