i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize