my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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