I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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