Porn is love you can see.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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