Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Someone shattered a urinal.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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