high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
