i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
