just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dick very happy bro
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
