My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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