you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No subtext here. People are naked.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
