love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
