You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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