my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
