so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your penis caused this!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
