Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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