I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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