you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Come see our sink grown plant.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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