I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
