So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
