I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
