yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This baby is an asshole
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
