Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
