i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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