Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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