I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize