Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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