Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
