You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
