I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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