Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
