He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
