Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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