I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
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I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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