Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I just put wine in my tea
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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