HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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